EQ 101: What is Emotional Intelligence (and Why You Need to Care)

Have you ever wished you could stay emotionally centered, positive and productive, no matter how difficult the people or the situations are around you? If you answered yes, then this blog is for you. And, if you work with someone you think could use this advice, feel free to "accidentally" share the link.  

Emotions connect us to everything in life  

Gaining emotional self-control will improve performance, relationships, and overall happiness. By understanding emotional intelligence, otherwise known as EQ, you’ll empower yourself to tackle life’s challenges with a new sense of discipline. And even better, this is something that can work in both your professional and personal life.

Specifically, consider four main components of emotional intelligence, and the benefits of understanding your EQ,     

What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is emotional intelligence and why is it showing up so much in the workplace? Emotional Intelligence, or EQ for short, is the ability to manage your emotions and the emotions of others. Whether you are a CEO, a team member, or an individual contributor, it is imperative that you develop your emotional intelligence.

How do you increase your effectiveness in your workplace? How can you interact and communicate with others more successfully?

Here are the four main components of emotional intelligence:

The first component is self-management. This is being aware of your emotions as you are experiencing them or, in other words, really tuning into your emotions. Recognize when you start to feel emotional. You do that by listening to your body for physical signs that you are having an emotional response. 

For example, you’re in a meeting and based on the conversation, the meeting takes a turn towards something unpleasant or difficult. You might notice that you feel a little warm, or your heart rate starts to increase. These are signs from your body that tell you you're are having an emotional reaction. The key is to recognize it when it is happening because once those physical feelings begin, you are already in an emotional state. Whether it is sweaty palms, flushed cheeks or a nervous stomach, you want to become aware of it. 

The second component is managing those feelings. Once you are aware of it, think about things you can do now to calm yourself. For some people, it may be gently placing your hands on your legs. For others, it could be taking long, slow breaths. Other people have talked about standing up or moving to shift the energy, but in any case, you want to do something that allows you to manage that emotion before it overtakes you. Another powerful technique is visualization and imagining yourself in a position or place that calms you.

The third component of emotional intelligence is recognizing the emotions of others. For example, you may be talking, and suddenly, you notice the person you are talking to starts to tear up, cry, or something significant changes in their body language. Chances are they’re experiencing an emotion. They might not be aware of it, but you see those changes. You can do a few things like adjusting and adapting what you are saying or doing, or you can ask, "Is everything ok?” Help them identify and discover what that emotion is.

This is also a fantastic opportunity to practice remaining calm and empathize with another person. It is okay to ask the person if they’d like to come back and talk later by giving them permission to take a break from the conversation.

The fourth component is being able to develop and nurture your relationship with others. Becoming more aware of your emotions, will also help you tune into the emotions of others and navigate them better. 

For example, if you have a question, you go to your boss’s office, and you notice that your boss seems frenzied, hurried, and distracted. As an emotionally intelligent person, you are not going to stop your boss and ask your question. Instead, you might ask, " Is there anything I can help you with?" or say, "I can come back later." Sometimes, emotional intelligence is recognizing it is not the right time to have a conversation, especially if it is something of a challenging or difficult nature.

You may also find that it is difficult to read another person who is unemotional. In these instances, being proactive by checking in and asking for feedback from the other person helps you understand their emotions and develop a stronger relationship.

The fourth component combines with the other three in a way that nurtures and fosters good working relationships. You begin to recognize other people's emotions and adapt your approach as needed. 

Master your emotions and take control of every incident that happens at work

You may have heard that you shouldn’t have emotions in the workplace, but that is unrealistic. The truth is that if we leave our emotions at the door and we ignore our anger, grief, and fear at work, we miss out on sharing our positive emotions like joy, passion, excitement, and happiness.

By gaining emotional intelligence -- learning how to recognize your emotions and triggers (and those of other people) -- you can better manage your reactions.