Teach Employees to Stop Workplace Incivility Before It Starts

Imagine you’re in a work meeting. A new employee is introducing themselves including a list of their impressive credentials. You see someone exaggeratedly roll their eyes and snicker.

In another meeting, the person speaking is interrupted as someone says: “That’s a really bad idea, Alise.”

You’re in the lunchroom and walk in on your boss publicly and thoroughly criticizing a shocked colleague.

These are examples of workplace incivility. They are seemingly inconsequential, but inconsiderate, words and deeds that violate the norms of workplace conduct. They’re not threatening and they’re not exactly aggressive. Yet, they cause most of us to pause. They make us uncomfortable. When we get back to our desks, we fret a bit, wondering what to do, if anything.

Organizations can curb incivility and create inviting, civil workplaces with a few simple tactics, including preparing employees with the skills needed to rationally consider and courageously address bad behavior and conflict.

A closer look at incivility data

Workplace incivility is pervasive. A spring 2024 SHRM survey showed that 66% of U.S. workers reported experiencing or witnessing incivility in the workplace over the past month. This behavior is, of course, not new. A 2013 Harvard Business Review poll showed 98% of employees had experienced incivility in the workplace.

What’s causing this bad behavior? Experts point at a variety of things. At work, there’s job insecurity, change, work overload, diversity and unclear expectations. Outside of work, there’s a widening political divide and a vast array of worries, from finances to crime to the environment. Dr. Christine Porath, professor at UNC Business School, has studied incivility for decades and says the number one cause is stress.

And whether the behavior is directed at us or at someone we work with, each of us is likely to go back to our desks a little confounded. “What should we do?”

Most employees are not equipped with the expertise to successfully navigate bad behavior and disagreement. It takes skill to do this without making things worse or damaging the relationship in a way that makes it hard to collaborate in the future.

Organizations can help create more civil workplaces in three ways:

1. Train employees in the key relationship skills needed to navigate these tense interactions.

   Understandably, leaders can be reluctant to intervene when there’s a complaint of incivility because it’s easy to assume it’s a personality conflict. And it might be. That means, we need employees to take the first step in resolving things on their own. But, when employees don’t have strong communication skills, they are, instead, likely to avoid these conversations (or the individual) which can cause problems in getting work done. Emotional intelligence, assertiveness, conflict management and stress management top the list of soft skills that can help prevent difficult interactions from escalating.

2. Make it okay for staff to talk with managers about concerns.

   Most people won’t act up or be rude in front of supervisors. That means you’re relying on reports from employees. Consider how you handle this information and plan for it in advance of an incident. It’s also important to stay vigilant for uncivil behavior from a boss. If you're in HR, keep your finger on the pulse using an anonymous survey about issues employees face; include a question about whether they would encourage people to work at your organization. Have a channel for complaints. And consider how to react in a way that models good conflict management.

3. Have a behavior policy and review it regularly.

   Make sure employees know expectations for integrity, civility and professionalism on the job. And make sure they know what those things look like in practice. “Be nice” is too vague. Instead, describe the behavior desired.

Register now for a course to help build relationship skills: Developing Your Emotional Intelligence or Managing Conflict and Confrontation at Work.

Workplace incivility comes with a hefty price tag for employees and organizations. Left unaddressed, it can lead to lost productivity, decreased job satisfaction, high turnover, and can even escalate to bullying, harassment or discrimination. When every employee is able to take the first step in addressing bad behavior, you can better prevent this from happening.