Self-Awareness is the Strongest Predictor of Leadership Success

We all have interpersonal strengths and weaknesses. Turns out, self-awareness — knowing what yours are — puts you a step ahead.

Why?

First, because you can hire individuals whose strengths lie in your weak areas.

And second, you can learn to pause when you’re venturing into a situation where you know you’re weak. Or you can choose to work on these weak areas. (Some of us have been working on ours for years.)

 

Self-awareness is illusive

The trouble with self-awareness is that research shows that 95% of us think we’re self-aware, but the real number is closer to 10 or 15%. Wow. That means: Most of us are oblivious to how others really see us. And that means, we’re stepping on toes, alienating, causing those around us to disengage.

“Doesn’t matter,” you might be thinking. “I’m the boss.” “People need to adjust to me.”

You’re right, of course. (You always are.) But, here’s the thing: If you knew that your interpersonal weaknesses were causing people to overlook all your other amazing qualities and technical abilities (like that fact that you’re an amazing public speaker, a coding beast, a sales superstar, or a keen strategic thinker) … if you knew that your interpersonal weaknesses were causing people to lose motivation — to become disengaged — wouldn’t you want to know?

Clearly leaders need an “executive skill set,” suggests Victor Lipman for psychologytoday.com, “without that you probably won’t get out of the starting blocks.” But being unaware of your impression on people can hinder your effectiveness despite all your other strengths.

 

Self-awareness is a fundamental component of Emotional Intelligence. Learn more by joining our live, virtual seminar: Developing Your Emotional Intelligence.

 

Still not convinced why self-awareness is so important?

At some point in our lives or careers, we’ve all received feedback we didn’t agree with. If you’re a self-confident individual, it’s easy to write these things off as incorrect … “clearly, they don’t know me at all.” If you struggle with self-esteem, you may instead, have given these things too much weight.

Still think you’re self-aware or that it doesn’t matter? (That’s ok. I’m stubborn too.)

Mira Brancu, Ph.D. writing for psychologytoday.com offers self-awareness advice. Here are some signs that you might need to become more self-aware: You dismiss feedback from or avoid conversations with certain people; you have a strong negative reaction to certain personality styles; you dig your heels in on some issues; or you take some things more personally or become more defensive about certain comments.

 

Honing in on your blind spots and becoming more self-aware

So how do you identify your real weaknesses? How do you become more aware of the effect you’re having on other people? How do you know when it’s you … and not them?

Tasha Eurich suggests that we approach introspection (the examination of our thoughts, feelings and motives) by asking “what” instead of “why.”

“Self-analysis can trap us in a mental hell of our own making.” Thinking about ourselves isn’t related to knowing ourselves.” To avoid this, she suggests not asking “why” questions. “Why am I so upset?” leads us away from the truth about ourselves, because we cannot accurately excavate our unconscious thoughts and feelings … for many reasons.

Instead she suggests asking a more forward-looking question, such as “What can I do to ….” “What’s most important to me …” “What are the situations that make me feel terrible and what do they have in common?”

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., offers a few other suggestions. Walk and let your mind wander as you examine your part in a situation. Practice mindfulness and observe your thoughts, beliefs and emotional triggers. Become a better listener to others, which in turn can make you better at listening more objectively to your own inner dialogue. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or colleague: “How do you think I handled that situation?”

 

Self-awareness is critical to workplace success, especially for leaders (or those who want to be). Knowing your interpersonal weaknesses enables you to make little intentional adjustments to your daily interactions.