Could RSD be Holding Back Your Most Creative Employees?

Do you have an employee or colleague who’s extremely creative, always coming up with ideas but shuts down and stops contributing for a while if an idea gets rejected? Do they run hot and cold with colleagues – extroverted and animated one day, tense and withdrawn the next?

It might be tempting to think of someone like this as overly sensitive. We all get rejected, and nobody really likes that. A better descriptor, though, might be “highly sensitive” or “especially sensitive” – and it might not be something they can consciously control.

While the research is still ongoing and there’s no formal diagnosis yet, studies indicate that a condition called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria appears to be more prevalent (and more pronounced) in people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Those who experience RSD take rejection hard. What’s disappointing to others can be agonizing for them. Consequently, they can develop an inordinate fear of rejection, preferring not to take risks even in areas where they’ve demonstrated strengths and skills.

Creativity is often a hallmark of ADHD as well, reinforcing the already-compelling case for a neurodiverse workforce. However, ADHD also affects the part of the brain that controls executive functions – including social skills, the ability to pay attention and judgment.

As a result, criticizing or rejecting one of their ideas can seem like a personal rejection or criticism. What a co-worker might see as inconsequential – a bit of good-natured teasing or breaking a planned lunch together because of a full schedule – might be taken personally and cause the person with RSD to withdraw.

This can leave managers and co-workers feeling as though they have to walk on eggshells around the highly sensitive person, or set their own needs aside to keep them happy, but that isn’t healthy either. For a team or organization to function well, honesty and appropriate boundaries are vital. However, there are ways to help a person with RSD understand that feedback and criticism is purely professional and work-related, rather than personal.

Need help communicating with the sensitive people in your workplace? Check out this learning opportunity!

1. Provide feedback at regular intervals, unless something is absolutely time-sensitive, and don’t set those intervals too far apart. You don’t want concerns or needed corrections to pile up, because the more you bring up, the more your sensitive team member will feel they’re being dogpiled on. Providing a regular time for feedback can also lessen the person’s worries. They might not always look forward to the appointment, but they won’t have to be concerned that rejection or criticism can come at any moment.
2. Be mindful of your word choice. It’s always advisable to avoid accusatory “You” language and absolutes such as “always” and “never,” but with people who struggle to handle rejection and criticism, you can’t afford not to. Frame any concerns as things to be worked through, and express confidence in your employee’s ability to do so.
3. Be prepared to explain why a suggestion or idea has been rejected. Facts and data can help to convey the message that the person isn’t being rejected. People with ADHD can struggle to process audio information, so it’s useful to present your reasoning in writing. That way, if they don’t grasp something the first time, they can come back to it later without having to ask you again.
4. For managers and colleagues alike, take note of any sensitive areas in conversation. Be careful of jokes or generalizations on such subjects as age, experience, skills, interests and habits. These are often intensely personal, and you don’t want to come across as making fun of the person. Watch for signs of discomfort: closed-off body language, sudden silence, even visible winces or grimaces.
5. Don’t make an issue of the other person’s sensitivity. If you’re a manager, it might be necessary to deliver a discreet bit of advice to their fellow team members about things to be aware of. But don’t make their sensitivity fodder for gossip and jokes. Word will get around, and that will only reinforce the feeling of personal rejection.

Above all, focus on the positives. You don’t have to be effusive in your praise, but make sure to give it when it’s due. The more wanted and appreciated highly sensitive people feel, the safer they’ll feel in the workplace, and the more comfortable they’ll be sharing their strengths.
 

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